HOW TO GET RID OF CELLULITE

Below are the creams I personally use to reduce my cellulite. Any over the counter cream will work just fine compared to the more pricey ones..it just comes down to INGREDIENTS!! 

This is not a paid post this is just what I've found worked for me over time if used on a regular basis!!!

Yes,its not a permanent fix. It will come back if you don't keep up with it but it will be a noticeably big difference in smoothing out the skin texture. 
By the way ladies, don't be ashamed! Im at the thinest I've ever been and I'm admitting to having cellulite on the back and sides of my thighs! It doesn't mean you're fat. Its hereditary and part of life. You can also use these tricks to firm other areas and prevent.. like tummy and booty.


Before buying any cream look at the list of ingredients . Ive tried everything and Ive been in the beauty industry for over 10 years. I also have my esthetics lic so I've studied skin and product chemistry and ingredients. I know what I'm talking about.

First off, if you didn't know with any product you buy (even food labels) when you look at the ingredient list it goes in order of most potent to least. PAY ATTENTION to the first few mainly. If you see water or mineral oil.THROW IT AWAY! Its pretty much nothing. When talking about cellulite you want CAFFEINE. the closer up on the list the better. While other ingredients claim to soften and SMOOTH the skin we need something to help that bumpiness out. 


Choose a cream that works for you. At least once a day but its better used twice a day. The more the better. Especially because we sweat through the day so it rubs off. Im very anal with perfecting everything so I bought 2-3 diff types and I use one in the morning and massage it in.. the longer the better ( I often skip this step in the morning bc I don't have time but I try to stick to the night routine) then I use the other one at night fresh out of the shower when your skin is most absorbent! 

Massage hard and long. We won't always have time to do each step as perfect obviously but just so you know the hard massage helps to work the cream in and also helps to stimulate the lymphatic system. I won't bore you with getting more technical with how cellulite is created I'll just get to the point of this blog.  That is why cupping and other aggressive machines at med spas are available and work much better ! Theyre more expensive but Ive heard they work! I haven't tried yet but I will keep you posted because next month Im going to try it! Summer body here we come!!

I also recently got a DRY BRUSH ( photo below) google the benefits on this there are so many! It would be great to do this daily first thing in the morning or at night before apply cream. Its great to move the blood around under the skin. Again, I don't always find the time. It kind of hurts because you need to be aggressive but you will see results! See Below for photo reference.

The before and afters are not me but I wanted to show what you can achieve if you stay consistent. That is the main secret. I would say you can see results after a just a week. Its always diff for me but recently I started my routine up again and 3-4 days later I spray tanned and it hid it all! It was like a miracle. little TIPS AND TRICKS of the business! Working always in a bikini or half naked I have to look my best head to toe at all times. So, I'm constantly researching and trying different things out.

If you have other techniques or lotions that work please comment below I would love to try!

NOW next is my all time BIGGEST SECRET!! after buying all these creams and seeing CAFFEINE as the main working ingredient I thought of the idea to use pure coffee grinds. I googled it and people buy coffee scrubs for this reason so why not use PURE COFFEE OR CAFFEINE?! I keep coffee in my shower and use it after I wash every day! This is what I notice makes a difference in a few days. Scrub and massage it in then wash off.

Use this and lotions and dry brushing if possible and you will be set!

Try aiming to drink a gallon of water a day to flush toxins out of your system! water is the biggest beauty secret of all! If that sounds crazy then at least up your water intake by double of what you're drinking now! Mix all that with working out the areas you have cellulite.. for me its thighs. So, I hike a lot, squat heavy and do a lot of stair master. The tighter the skin the smoother the appearance ! If I slack i notice a huge difference. Take care of your body from the outside and also within!

HOPE THIS WORKS FOR YOU JUST AS IT HAS FOR ME!!

HOW TO GET A EVEN SPRAY TAN THAT LAST LONG!

I've been spray tanning for years and love it! I've gotten airbrush tans and they are great too but they're more money and often you need appointments so I prefer to just do the spray booth.

Its about 20-30$ and If you prep correctly It will last a week. Here is what I personally find works the best!!

1. Always shower RIGHT before .. you want to make sure you do not have any lotions, oils or sweat on you. Otherwise, the spray tan will not stick or be even.

2. Spray tan doesn't work well on dry skin. That is how it gets blotchy. Use a wash cloth or a coarse loofa to exfoliate your skin head to toe. Scrub really good. I even use a razor even if I don't have to shave because it will take off a layer of dead skin. I then use a body scrub to make sure my skin is as smooth and soft as possible. After shower I use the tower and rub my skin all over to exfoliate even more. This step is crucial for achieving a long lasting EVEN tan!! DO NOT USE ANY LOTION OR DEODORANT. 

3. I head right to the tanning salon before I get the chance to sweat
and wear a loose sundress always. I normally always get the DARK color as in my photos here. I feel for my photo shoots that color looks best on my olive skin. Sometimes I do medium for a natural look but its not much of a difference with my natural skin tone. Make sure to use the barrier creme they provide a little on the bottom of feet, hands and knees. ( extra dry skin areas) It helps to absorb less color. I always wear the hair cap and the foot booties. Make sure the hair cap is not touching your face. (lesson learned the hard way) Make sure you know the correct standing positions. This photo I look extra dark just because of the lighting! SEE OTHER PHOTO TO COMPARE. This is DARK shade.

4. Most machines have drying passes to dry your tan and that would be enough to get dressed. If not make sure you stand naked for a few minutes and air dry. I take a baby wipe and spray water bottle to wash off the bottoms of my feet and I was my hands in the sink. I take a tissue and blot my face lightly to get the extra brown color off. 

ALL DONE! I don't shower or sweat till the next day. Do not use any lotions containing oils. Mineral oil which is in lots of lotions will remove your tan. I made the mistake of using baby oil once and found that out! They make certain lotions that will moisturize and extend your tan. Moisturized skin will hold a tan better then dry skin. When I shower I use basic soap and try to not go over areas I really want to keep tan. Just let the water run down but don't use a loofa. Only use hands. Blot towels don't rub. My tan always last a good week!  Let men know if this works for you to!!

Next blog--- MY SECRETS TO GETTING RID OF CELLULITE!!!

ENJOY! =)

MY HOME BIRTH STORY!!!!

MY HOME BIRTH STORY

   It's been almost 6 months since Kaiden has been born. What a crazy busy 6months it has been!! I Havn't had time to write my birth story until now so here goes....

For those of you who know me, know I'm one of those all natural organic type of people.. I try to eat clean and use all organic products as much as possible! I'm one of those people who check labels and read ingredients on EVERYTHING! YOU SHOULD TO! I COULD VENT FOR HOURS buttttttt I WONT! ANYWAYS.. Of course laboring was a big deal for me and to be honest I knew nothing about my options.. All I knew was.. I didn't want a epidural because of the bad things I have heard about them and I wanted to be as NATURAL as possible. I didn't want my baby on drugs and I didn't want him to feel any pain.. him coming down the birth canal is traumatizing enough! I did NOT want a bunch of random hands on him for testing, shots or even a bath!! So, I do what I always do when I don't know much on the topic... I research non stop , read books, google for hours, and ask every single person I could. Bottom line came to .. my birth plan was to have a unassisted home water birth. No medication at all. No epidural. No interventions. No inductions. Oh yeah and MOST IMPORTANTLY a healthy baby boy delivered into my arms! ;)

  After MONTHS of research I hired a doula/birth coach.. Claudia Silvia from enlightened birth services. SHE WAS A GOD SEND! WE LOVE YOU CLAUDIA! She taught me all of what I know that doctors and hospitals DONT want you to know. She also taught me of my patient rights and gave me and my boyfriend birthing lessons. People always ask me " ARNT YOU AFRAID OF DELIVERING YOUR BABY AT HOME??" my honest answer is Im WAY more afraid of delivering in the hospital!( From all the horror stories I've heard) If I had listened to my doctors I would have had a totally different birth story and definitely would not have been happy with it. I fought the majority of my pregnancy to get what I wanted.. what I felt was best for me and my baby. If woman years ago can deliver babies naturally with no medical assistance .. I can to! I believe god has made our bodies to be able to birth naturally!! I don't really understand how you can't take advil when your pregnant but you can inject a needle into your spine to numb your body?! think about it!!

My due date was OCT 17 2014.  After fighting every doctor NOT to be induced and waiting for my body to naturally go into labor ( when kaiden was ready to make his appearance).. OCT 24 2014 Friday at around 1pm.. I woke up feeling extra tired and my belly finally felt heavy like everyone said I should have been feeling throughout my pregnancy.. FINALLY I FELT PREGNANT! I ignored those feelings and went on with my morning workout and walked to get lunch with my friend Miriam .. it wasn't a far walk but it felt like forever. I had to keep sitting down and I was out of breath. I had small contractions.. every hour on the dot. They felt like bad period cramps and gradually got stronger and closer together throughout the day. My back was KILLING ME! Miriam gave me a back massage that felt amazing!! I called my doula Claudia to update her and she said I would probably go into labor in another day or two. Miriam went home and I went on with my day.. very exhausted. I also was leaking slightly throughout the day. By 10pm my contractions were much stronger and closer together. I looked over at my boyfriend and said 'UMMMM.. I think this is it.. should we call Claudia??" I called her and told her my contractions were starting to become painful and are 5min apart for about a minute long. She told me to fill up the birthing tub and sit in it if I wanted to and she would be right over. I Was soo happy labor has begun!  This meant the day I was waiting for .. for months.. is here and I didn't need to be induced! I told my boyfriend to start filling up the birthing tub that was in my living room and I went to take a hot shower. I was getting bad back pain almost more painful then the contractions.. this is known as BACK LABOUR! its the worst!! The hot shower made it feel amazing! Through the contractions that were coming every 5minutes I managed to wash my hair, do my makeup and put on a pink dress. =)

The time I was done getting ready I took a 'selfie' then walked out of my room and Miriam and Jessica were there! I gave them my phone and I was ready to get this baby boy out! I walked around, took a bunch of pictures (posted to @thekidkaiden instagram or mine @kristinways) Claudia got there about 2hours later. I then got into the birthing tub.. MARTIN was on tv. I didn't pay much attention to it as pain worsened...my god the warm water made contractions a lot easier!! Claudia told me  I was in early to mid labor at this point. They had put relaxing music on, dimmed the lights and put candles. Essential oils for many different purposes. It was very relaxing setting, like a spa. I was riding those contractions like a champ. I was so still. Miriam was still massaging me and helping me breath and relax.. Jessica was making sure all the supplies were in order and assisting Claudia. My boyfriend ran out to get a list of things we didn't have in the house.  As the pain got worse.. Claudia read my mind and shut off the lights/tv and made it a more soothing environment with more candles and meditating birthing music! It was amazing how still I stayed through EVERY SINGLE CONTRACTION!! my back labor go worse and worse.. I would yell CONTRACTION and everyone would run and press my pressure points as HARD as possible (they said they're hands hurt for days later)  I rotated between the birthing tub, my couch and the bathroom toilet. I ate fruit, drank water and juice to keep my energy up! I walked back and forth.. that helped my contractions SOOO MUCH!! swaying my hips back and forth.... also sitting on the birthing ball by bouncing slighty on it helped to.

I have to say  I don't know how anyone can give birth in a hospital bed laying straight on their back!!! I would have given in and gotten the epidural that way! laying strapped to a bed not being able to get up seems like torture and the only thing that helped me get through contractions was being able to get up and walk around or lay down on my side! ANDDD my friends pressing my pressure points!!! I can not stress that enough!! ANWAY…

 It is now about 2am and I am in the worst pain ever!!! dreaming of what it must be like to have a epidural and not feel shit! I considered my self crazy at this point but told myself to not give up! My boyfriend was there trying to be helpful but for someone reason I did not want him near me lol I would say.. "can you go away ..please.. im so sorry" I felt so bad but he was the only one irritating me lol so he watched from a distance, I guess. I just felt like he made me "soft" sort of speak. I was trying to be strong and man up over this pain that was unbearable!! He meant well though. If Jessica even tried to go to the bathroom I would freak out " WHERE ARE YOU GOING??!" she was not to leave my side!!! 

3am I was just SO EXHAUSTED.. everyone was napping which made me feel even more tired.. the pain felt worse bc I was so tired and getting weaker by the moment. It was getting harder for me to believe I could endure any more pain! I just wanted to sleep!!! Claudia looked at me and asked do you want to go lay in your bed? I jumped up in excitement! "YES!" I laid in my bed and it was so comforting to be in my own comfy bed.. I told everyone to nap bc I knew I needed they're energy mostly later on.. I laid in bed and feel asleep in between contractions.. only for about 2minutes till contractions would wake me up!! of course! I was about 5cm or so at this point. I swear it felt like forever... I just wanted the sun to come up bc I knew it would trick my body into thinking it was a brand new day and give me NEW ENERGY! I kept drinking fluids to stay hydrated and having to pee... I swear using the toilet was the best feeling of relief ever.. anytime I had to pee I would love it LOL In between contractions I would race to the toilet and sit there for a few contractions!

I think it was 6am I was around 6cm dilated. Still in my bed. Miriam was taking the babys heart rate.. which was now dropping! My fever was slightly going up as well. My pain was worse and worse and I was losing track of how to breathe!! I didn't feel so good.. I gave myself anxiety bc I didn't like to feel out of control of my body and what was going on and I really wasn't sure if I was okay.. I thought I was dying.. I was cold and hot.. and I lost it and started moving around and screaming! I couldn't calm down... Jess said " look at me! you need to calm down okay!! you know this is going to hurt.. so just go with it!! you don't have a choice" I said "I CANT I DONT KNOW HOW, I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING TO ME>> IS THIS NORMAL?? JUST TELL ME THIS IS NORMAL AND ILL BE OKAY??"  and she said "yes your going to be okay I promise.. here comes another one just breathe with me ready?? 

..... I looked out the window and told Miriam to take a picture of the sunrise that was gorgeous !! I begged and cried to get into a hot shower or the birth tub again.. and I couldn't understand what was taking them SOO LONG to fill up the birth tub! I was irritated! Then I realized.. my fever was going up so much so I couldn't make my body temperature rise anymore! So, they didn't allow me in the birthing tub =(  I wasn't even allowed a heating pad! THAT WAS A DEAL BREAKER BC CONTRACTIONS WITHOUT THAT WARM WATER WAS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE! I was dying in pain.. only at barely 7cm.. I tried not to ask what time it was but each cm dilating felt like hours... I swear, If I had known how much longer exactly .. it wouldn't have been so bad!! So everyone had a meeting in the other room and agreed things were taking a turn for the worse!!!

Claudia came over to me and asked if I wanted to go to the hospital.. kaidens heart beat was dropping, my fever was going up, I felt sick, hot and cold, and I couldn't remain still .. which made the pain worse.. and I couldn't breathe. When she said HOSPITAL.. my heart rate went through the wall!!! I had the biggest anxiety ever! that's how much im afraid of birthing in a hospital.. I said.. NO HOSPITAL!!! I AM FINE!! I PROMISE I CAN DO THIS! MY BABY WILL BE FINE. but inside my head.. I seriously didn't know if I was okay. Jessica talked me off a ledge again... somehow she got me staying still as anything yet again and breathing insync with her.. I just let go and did it. I didn't want anything else to eat or drink.. but they made me drink more to hydrate which is very important .. I threw up twice..my body was done for! 

About 11am now.. nothing had changed.. Im still at about 7cm or so dilated .. the baby didn't move any further down, my fever is going up and kaidens heartbeat is dropping. Everyone looked really worried!!! I was out of it.... Claudia then said... "we need to go to the hospital now" I was in so much pain I didn't know how I was going to be able to get dressed. I don't know how I did .. but I did!!

My boyfriend rushed me to California Hospital in downtown LA. They suggested to go to cedars bc it was closer.. but I refused being they were to "medical" and if I was going to go to a hospital at least I wanted to go to one that I was being delivered by midwives. They must have thought I was crazy.. this was a emergency!! Something inside me told me it was going to be okay.. there was so much traffic ! ahh I just prayed out loud to god over and over again!! When I arrived at the hospital I was screaming help help im in labour!!! The lady there had the nerve to tell me to sit down and wait my turn and didn't believe I was in labour bc she said I didn't look 9months pregnant! WTF?

My doula Claudia backed me up and they wheeled me right in after I signed some papers quickly! I was at 9cm and my body just automatically started to push!! I couldn't help it and they yelled at me to stop pushing but it felt SOO good to push!! AMAZING!! it was SUCH a relief!!! PUSHING WAS THE BEST PART OF LABOUR!! They were trying to tell me how to breathe to make the pushing stop but it wasn't working much.. I was so confused!!  The midwife delivering me helped me get to 10cm and I was like finally!!!! 

I pushed and pushed and by this time I wasn't even tired bc of my adrenaline ... I just couldn't figure out how to hold my legs, being in a crunch position and push for ten seconds then relax breathe and repeat.. I WAS SO CONFUSED .. I thought I was doing it right.. but apparently it wasn't good enough... everyone looked worried!!  I was giving up and didn't care what they did to get him out!! Jessica said "look at me!!! the midwife is only giving you 3 pushes or else!!!" they didn't want to scare me but pretty much.. I would have had a emergency C-section if I didn't push him out within 3pushes.. because his heart beat was still dropping fast and he should have been out by now! 1 push.. failed! Jessica goes "listen to me .. this is the one okay!! this is seriously the last one.. you don't have a choice DO IT!! 2nd push.. FAIL... the midwife did a episiotomy on me bc kaidens head wouldn't fit passed my pelvic bone!! 3rd push..... jess was now screaming at me saying "YOU DONT WANT A CSECTION PUSH NOW!!!! HARDER!!" 

I did all I could.. just like every other time.. laid back down and was so sad bc I failed again and knew I would now need a csection... and then.. I Heard crying..... and everyone clapped and said yayyyyy!!  .. I LOOKED DOWN and saw a head full of hair!!!.. OMG BABY KAIDEN WAS BORN!!!!!! NO CSECTION NEEDED!!  AND I COULDNT FEEL A THING AT THIS POINT!! AMEN!

KAIDEN JAY BORN OCTOBER 25 2015   1:50pm    21in/ 7lbs 2oz

I checked myself out of the hospital about a hour or so later.. and I was home with my beautiful baby boy. Traumatized as anything but my baby and me were both healthy as can be =) blessed! People ask me if I could do it again would I? my answer = most certainly ;)

PREGNANCY /STRETCH MARK PREVENTION!

        For those of you that do not already know, I am pregnant! I took me awhile to publicly announce it because I was still going on auditions and booking jobs. If I was to tell my agent I was pregnant I probably wouldn't have booked the BUDLIGHT commercial Or HELINKSI VODKA commercial! No, I did not drink on set.. no one did.. however, it is still a liability. 

        Anyhow, I made a separate instagram for my unborn child because #1 I didn't want to flood my personal page (@kristinways) with pregnant posts since I have BABY FEVER haha. I made @thekidkaiden for those of you that want to follow my PREGNANT JOURNEY and view my outlook on pregnancy tips etc.  I also feature and review lots of BABY ITEMS and products. Once Kaiden is here the page will no longer be of my pregnancy journey but of him growing and his milestones. So thanks for those who follow us and I hope you enjoy our posts!!

I am currently 33weeks or 8 1/2 months! Time has flown by. People ask me what I find has helped prevent stretch marks. Well , to be honest.. you can't really "prevent" stretch marks! I believe they're hereditary. However, you can help lessen the problem or prevent them from becoming worse. By oiling and mositurizing your skin (chest, thighs,tummy) twice a day with the correct products. Im big on NATURAL and ORGANIC products.. I'm always reading labels on whatever products I use on my skin.. even more so now that I'm pregnant. Anything you put on your skin is absorbed into your body and passed by your baby. I will write another blog post on chemicals found in foods you may not be aware of and also cleaning products!! 

Here are my FAVORITE PRODUCTS I've been using to prevent stretch marks .. 

No stretch marks so far.. Fingers crossed! I've been REALLY vain!

Below is a description, where to find them and which work best! I don't use them all at once I just switch it up!

1. MOTHERS OIL- (favorite) found at whole foods, natural, this is similar to bio oil but it's ingredients are more potent.

2. COCONUT OIL- my favorite! Organic, can be found at any grocery store. I use this all over my body and hair as a hair mask! It's so moisturizing!! SO MANY USES! GOOGLE It!

VITAMIN E- (favorite) I got mine at whole foods. This is great for scars as well. So many uses. Make sure you read ingredients and it's 100% vitamin E lots of times it says vitamin e on the front but ingredients include other additives. You want to make sure its 100% pure vitamin E or its useless.

3. PALMERS COCOA BUTTER AND OIL... The ingredients are not as potent as the other products and have mineral oil and water in them so it takes away from the vitamin e and cocoa butter in them,  =(  I still use this though because it smells amazing.

4. BABY OIL GEL- with vitamin e.. Very moisturizing .. Love it all over! I use this a lot while tanning I let the sun soak it into my skin. 

5. MAMAS BELLY BUTTER- (favorite) love this! Natural, cocoa butter, vitamin e, thick butter.. Great moisturizing properties! I bought mine on amazon. I oil up my belly and chest 2 to 3 times a day! I started with my 2nd month of pregnancy!! 

WATCH ME ON THE TV SHOW FRANKLIN AND BASH!

I WAS ON LAST WEEKS EPISODE OF THE TV SHOW FRANKLIN AND BASH ON TNT IT WAS 'FRANKLIN VS BASH' AND I PLAYED A BRENTWOOD HOUSEWIFE.  THERE WAS ANOTHER SCENE WE FILMED THAT GOT CUT AS WELL AS THE SPEAKING PARTS.. BUT I WAS STILL ON IT.. WATCH THE FULL EPISODE HERE


http://www.tnt.tv/dramavision/index.jsp?oid=106459&eref=sharethisUrl

I NEED YOUR HELP!!

IM PREPARING A WHOLE IMPORTANT BLOG ON THIS TOPIC BUT FOR NOW THE SIMPLE VERSION IS IM PART OF THE PETA PACK, IM RUNNING A MARATHON AND RAISING MONEY FOR ABUSED ANIMALS TO HELP THEM OUT.

I WOULD REALLY APPERCIATE IT IF YOU DONATE ANY AMOUNT IT WILL HELP PLEASE CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO DONATE

http://www2.peta.org/site/TR/Events/PETAsOnlineCommunity?px=7716810&pg=personal&fr_id=1081&fb_comment_id=fbc_10150724937475437_23549677_10150724947840437#f3a184e9c8

YOU CAN COPY AND PASTE THAT WHOLE LINK OR YOU CAN GO TO www.peta.org click on take action.. then support a runner and search my name kristin ways. I HAVE TO OCT 2 TO REACH MY GOAL PLEASE HELP ME. TO EVERYONE THAT DONATES I HAVE A GIFT FOR YOU! THIS IS FOR A GOOD CAUSE AND IT MEANS SOOO MUCH TO ME.

AND IF ITS THE LEAST YOU CAN DO GO TO WWW.PETA.ORG AND JUST RESEARCH AND READ WHAT PETA IS ALL ABOUT . YOULL BE SUPRISED.

MY EPISODE OF 1000 WAYS TO DIE

Death, The New Black

CHECK ME OUT AS A GUIDETTE.. MY GUIDO BOYFRIEND ENDS UP BLOWING HIMSELF UP ON A RAFT HAHA

ENJOY. XOXO

I WAS ON 1000 WAYS TO DIE

I WAS ON 1000 WAYS TO DIE THE OTHER WEEK EPISODE= RAFTED

MY GUIDO BOYFRIEND END UP BLOWING HIMSELF UP HAHA

HERE IS THE LINK YOU CAN WATCH IT.. ENJOY. XOXO

http://www.spike.com/full-epis​odes/e775t9/1000-ways-to-die-d​eath-the-new-black-season-3-ep​-324

ADD MY FACEBOOK PAGE! *NEW PHOTOS*

HEY EVERYONE HOPE YOUR WEEKEND WENT WELL! I HAD SUCH A RELAXING DAY OFF TODAY PREPARING FOR A VERY BUSY UPCOMING WEEK BETWEEM WORK AND EVENTS BUT I KNOW I WILL PULL IT OFF! ANYWAYS JUST WANTED TO POST MY FACEBOOK LINK.. PLEASE ADD IT WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/KRISTINWAYS1 I JUST ADDED NEW PHOTOS FROM MY MIAMI SHOOT AND MORE STUFF.  SO CLICK IT AND KEEP IN TOUCH DIRECTLY! THANKS EVERYONE FOR THE SUPPORT!

GOING TO FINISH UPDATING MY BLOG REAL FAST.. IM GOING TO POST LINKS TO STUFF IVE BEEN WORKING ON FOR YOU TO SEE. I'LL MAKE IT FAST  SO I CAN GET A GOOD NIGHT REST BECAUSE I HAVE TO WAKE UP SUPER EARLY TOMORROW!

XOXO KRISTIN


WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/KRISTINWAYS1

spotted at the playboy mansion halloween party, this was my first time there.

I walked the runway for FASHION WEEK 2011 | DESTINATION 1610 "Material World"

barbee ft trina music video.. im in the blue bikini right in the beginning (behind the scenes)

I WAS ON SET FOR 18 HOURS STRAIGHT FOR THIS MUSIC VIDEO-Dr. Dre - Kush ft. Snoop Dogg, Akon

This is a funny pilot I worked on last year

Puddle Of Mudd - Spaceship- MUSIC VIDEO I WAS IN.. SHOT THIS ON MY BIRTHDAY.. HOW CAN I EVER FORGET THAT DAY? =) =) FUN SHOOT.

MY FIRST MUSIC VIDEO EVER- JARULE 2009 BEHIND THE SCENES!!

We found theses tiny crabs in costa rica.. omg.

Surprise ! Its ME in a box!

I recently went to COSTA RICA! It was SO PRETTY! LOOK>>

HILARIOUS golfers trying to dance.MP4

A event I worked on for Playboy girls of golf

behind the scenes shoot live in studio

Thou shall be no other

You are the only person I have ever known that has stood by my side w/out ever leaving me. No questions asked, if I ever needed you…you were there . Whatever the problem was, you never ever had to ask, 
you just came right to me. 


Whatever I said I said..what I did I did. You never 2^nd guessed me.
 Your patience is ridiculous. My life is ridiculous..
people wouldn't even believe the half. You KNOW the full. 
You put up with my pathetic bullshit like it was nothing. 
If I couldn't sleep, you're the only person that would stay on the phone with me till I could. Like always, you never let me down. you are the only person that has stayed true for as long as Ive known you.


They think they know...YOU know. You're the only one who knows what goes on inside my head. That is mind boggling to me. I don't get you..why do u care? 
mess up as much as you can before you regret it. I mess up everyday.  lifes short..were running out of time. You cant live till you really understand--Perfection is not really happiness.. its trying to hard! 


I treat people how they treat me. Im loyal, I don't just leave ppl they leave me. I speak the truth . I expect that in return. You spoil me. I didn't take you for granted. I am never alone, you are with me always. ..you are never alone im with you always ! 

MAKEUP IS MY ART

PREVIOUS MAKEUP BLOG FROM april 2009

Your face, My canvas 

My Kit has overflowed and exploded from suitcase full to..suitcasesssss filled, draws filled, cabinets filled, closets, bathrooms, rooms and every hand bag possible filled.. Mac Mac Mac has thrown up on my life.... and, I LAVEE it!
Clearly, I have worked with Mac for some years and so I am most familar with there products so the majority of my kit consists of all MAC makeup. Ido have a few favs by smashbox,urban decay and Def..makeup forever.
I do all and ANY type of makeup you can think of. Beauty, High Fashion, Bridal ( which makes up a big part of my business), Film/Tv, Theatrical, Special effects, body paint, Scar/ tattoo coverage, & photoshoots.. which is my all time favorite!! did i leave anything out? Airbrush I have done in the past but I dont do it often..if anything maybe I will start abusing the airbrush gun for bodies in photoshoots. Im not a big fan of airbrush gun on face and def not eyes. Though I have not tried MAC regular liquid found. in a gun before. If anyone has, let me know! MAC pro also carries a airbrush formula you can dilute your fluids with. Thats in my kit, taking up space.
Makeup on film is totally different from a regular beauty app. Not only by placement but bc of the different textures, ingredients that make -up the product etc. How it looks in front of you will read totally different in pictures. Thats why you need to be familar with whats in your kit. I dont know whats in your kit, but I can tell you whats in MINE. 
With makeup the most important thing to remember is honestly there are NO rules. Its whatever your comfortable with. Everything I have learned was not from any class or book! It was from my eye, whatever looked good. When you step back and look at the whole picture and something looks off..its kinda like where did I EFF up and how can I fix it. Then you know for next time. It's trial and error..and time. AND of course from all my co-workers I have worked with. Just from being around other artists you pick up there tricks and develop your own techniques.
My kit is a small luggage, I condense as best I can. But im always still paranoid I will forget something though ive been doing this for years. Everything is labeled and in smaller plastic squeeze tubes/ bottles..zipblock bags, containers in its on section. Whatever fits, Whatever works, Whatever is easy to find and fast to get to! I get pill cases from cvs or wherever and press my lipsticks into them. Now I have a lipstick pallete. Duh. A bigger version of that can be used for foundation. I never carry every shade, thats a waste of time and money. A few dark, a few light, a few warm, a few cool. True artists can make any color as long as they have esstentials to build and work with.My foundations, I have something for full coverage and then tinted moisturizers, A have a very dewy one and matte. Diff textures and coverages, But again you can turn a full coverage into a sheer coverage..just dilute it with moisturizer or whatever. My favs= Mac Full coverage, Mineralize liquid, select cover up as a foundation!, moisture cover as a foundation or under eyes, Hyper real,Studio mist, Studio Fluid , Face and body, Makeup forever photofinish. Moisturizers,Primers,- If you do not prime and moist your skin 1st it will look like shit and not last!!!! eww. My favs, Smashbox face primer, Urbandecay special effects eye primer,Strobe creme is a must! even on the body. Strobe liquid to, even to mix with found. Mac paint pot. Mac just came out with Pore refined zone which i just started testing out. The wrinlkle filler is amazing!! Mac lash primer! Matte creme. Blot sheets are good to have to.MY FAV Powders- Mac mineralized loose, Mineralized press is to sheer for me..I just love it as a finishing powder and a bronzer. They photograph amazing. Mineralize shimmer to highlight areas, amazing. Blunt blush I use as a contour. My fav thing to do is SKIN, glowyy skin with contour sitting just right. I do like Mac loose powders to and the New translucent powder. Even mixed together. To set makup. Blot pressed is good to, I keep that on set and in my bag for Oil touch ups. Studio fix I love but I would never use for photoshoots. It reflects to much light youll look like a ghost.LIPS I'll use anything that looks good. I own every lipstick and lipgloss that make has to offer..limited or not. Dazzle glass is AMAZING! orgasim in a tube.Eyeshadow- Have a selection. I have ALOT of MAC 15 Pro Pallettes and I just buy the inserts to pop the shadows in. CONDENSE. I have a smokey palette with all greys, blacks, bronze, browns, nudes. Then I have all brights. Neutrels, Just organized and labeled. Pigments all colors
Mascaras, I use plush alot and always the MAC primer. I jump around alot with mascaras. Christian dior show, Lancome hypnotise. Once you use lashes you never go back!! I havnt really found a mascara I loveee.
Lashes- us mac girls are known to OD on false lashes, 2,3 some girls where 4? LOL theres so many different types. My Favs are from MAC #'s... 2,3,4,7,34, 36, and 20's. My fav combinations are.. doubled 7's. 7's and 20's. I would never use any other glue then duo. Ive heard horror stories.
Eyebrows frame a face, so important. Depending on if they have enough hair or not but I like to use pencials by mac to outline and then mac eyeshadow to shade in. Mac browsets to finish off.
Eyeliner=  Again I havnt really used anything but mac, one of these days I will explore sephora more. Im big on mac power points , fluidline, liquid last..that shit lasts!! Kohl pencial smolder is realllll dark but it runs. Carbon, Sketch, FIG 1 or anything dark to smudge out eyeliner.
Blush, I have a assortment of colors and I have them in Palettes as well. Pinks, pink browns, browns, reds, deep red, bronze, peach, etccccc

The following is what I personally use and could not live with out. I do all my makeup for my own photoshoots and this is what MY FACE consist of
To be continued..
 

7:49 PM

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Abusive relationships.

This was Written By Concrete Poet. I got it from him when he asked me the same question as to why women stay with men who they know are not good for them. Mentally or Physically. I am reposting this bc I think it should be read.. Sometimes the little things make a difference.Tell me what you think.Here is some feed back from other people who have read my previous blog in 2008/2009! THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I WROTE BUT REACTIONS FROM A DISCUSSION ABOUT ABUSIVE REALTIONSHIP! Ive been there before and now Im not afraid to speak about it, if it will make a difference in someone elses life.

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What makes a women stay with a man , when she knows he is not good for her mentally or phyically?? I believe mental pain can sometimes be worse. I wish i can be a the one to preach all the right answers, unfortunately Ive been a victim to that "on going cycle" Im reposting this to open up the eyes of other girls.. We've all been there! please give me your feed back on it ! Yeaah...It really is tough.. I have a new understanding on situations.. Before I would look at a girl and just think she was a lil bonkers for being w.a dude who u know is a lame asss dude The way I look at it U hold someone soo high w.Love or Respect that a part of you blocks out the persons faults... U pretty much look at that person as the B.E.S.T person in the world... I could never be with someone who I become violent with.. Fuck that Life is so short Today your strong and making things happen in your life N 1 minute later Everything can change for the worse.. No-one ever believes that a fucked up situation can happen 2 them Until its 2 late and your saying 2 yourself "FUCK....Y ME" Its crazy that you can allow your man to be with other girls and thats okay as along as he comes home to you at night!?!? How does that justify any of it? once a cheater always a cheater, once a liar always a liar. He is telling her the same lies he's telling you!!! your in denial then girl..you should confront her It's insane 2 me that people are still struggling w.relationships rather then working on themselves first... If u know who u are what u want out of life what makes u happy what makes u mad U know that if Someone is treating u fucked up or Someone who isn't giving u what u need in your life U R suppose 2 look at that person and know that it is or isn't working Thank you so much for the words... It will help alot I guess when you really care about someone you dont want to believe that they could do the things they do , and that they are the way they are. It could be from past experience and childhood. On the other hand some women feels because they are woman they can hit a man and its ok but its not ok for man to fight back. We all learn things from our life experience and we apply it in our own way.Its just sad:( Because in our mind and heart we feel we can fix them and get them out of that abyss that they are in. Its just a matter of time after shes been totally consumed by his issues where she wakes up and decides to let go. When she lets go the love has faded and she can move on. Of course thats when the guy realizes whats he's lost. My ex recently told me that Im the reason he is the man he is today, if i hadnt left him he wouldnt have known what it took to be a man. Women stick w/ THAT GUY Because they're afraid 2 leave And use all kinds of excuses to stay Because they're comfortable and figure all guys are like this anyway So they try and stick it out..til sometimes its too late?! Actually!! My sister got "chris brown_d" last weekend and she won't leave or press charges on him b.c he's the only 1 that can watch they're newborn baby when she needs to run errands? A lot of it has to do with low self-..esteem/self image...at least i believe. When you love someone, u better these things...u have hope that question is the type of question with different million answers.....being that women are for the most part spiritual beings....and look at the bigger picture...many a times the love out weights the pain... the answer is that many women(not all) are so emotionally attached to that man that obama can try 2 bag them and they will say no.when a woman loves a man..she loves.(deeply) sometimes this is good, and at oter times its just sad.women are are also scared of being lonely, Because most women aren't as independent and strong as they seem to be... and its so easy to forgive someone you think you love =) As you said... Love is a powerful thing.. The thought of being alone for a woman is difficult to accept.. especially when ur surrounded by couples.....sometimes when ur with a man for so long u get used to him and its hard to imagine ur life without that person... Its been almost 2 years that i havent been in a relationship and i find that i cant find anyone who compares to the person i was with especially these days no one wants to be in monogamous relationships anymore or are willing to put in the effort of working on one...... So why not stick with the man who does nothing for you and is probably the worst man on the planet for you instead of being alone or leaving that man for someone who is probably worse... at least u know already what ur working with and last but not least starting all over again sucks!!! i say "love" maybe but alot of other ppl dotn even know why they choose to stay with this person. honestly it depends the situation she can probably be stayin with him for any lil thing such as fame, money, sex, family.... who knows... lol comfort.....bottom line well i was in a situtation where my ex used to hit me too so i know how it feels... the reason i stayed with him was cause i felt lik e he was my world and i was so used to him in my life i couldnt imagine it withiut hum i mean i d id love him but i guess u can s ay it was i w as comfortable with him and didnt wanna b alone .i look back i t it now and think how stupid i was but we all make mistakes . physcologically.. u can be tramaitized!!! It happens... I THINK ITS MORE OF A MENTAL THING WITH WOMAN AND ITS SELF-PITY YOU DONT THINK YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN YOU ARE GETTING SO YOU STAY WIT THE NEGATIVE THE MORE HE TREATS YOU BAD THE MORE YOU THINK ITS LOVE a regular women and by that I mean a non celebrity, is bound to stay with the guy cuz of lack of confidence, but it can also be the actual emotion of love..some individuals havnt figured out how to control it.. women also feel that they have to meet a deadline in which they have to be married with kids at a certain age..so imagine being with someone for 5yrs and come to find out he played you, he's crying to you telling you how sorry he is and how much he loves you..imagine having to start from scratch..its kinda hard to fathom. most women stay because they believe that the men will change, or that he didn't mean it and that he is sorry.Now there are also women that have low self stem, and they cant leave their partner, because they feel they cant do better. Now, you don't have to be ugly to have low self stem.you can be really ,really beautiful and have lots of money. i don't know , maybe Rhianna is suffering from something similar. you never know.what i don't agree with, is when people say that women stay in such relationship because of love.because if you don't value and love your self first , their is no way in hell, you are going to know how to love someone else. YEA YOU SURE GOT ME ON THAT WELL LOVE IS A REAL MOTHER FUCKER AND A STRONG POWER, I WHEN THRU THAT AND IS HARD TO SAY I GOT STUCK AT TIMES YOU SAY IS BEST GOING THRU IT BY THE PERSON YOU LOVE THEN MEETING A NEW PERSON AND GO THRU IT, WELL IS BAD IN EITHER WAYS BUT LOVE IS LOVE AND YOU FEEL IF YOU DONT GO BY IT THEN YOU NOT A GOOD WOMAN CUZ YOU DIDNT STICK BY YOUR MAN IN GOOD AND BADS, WELL BEING SPANISH FROM A GOOD FAMILY IF YOU DONT STICK BY YOUR MAN EN LAS BUENAS Y LAS MALAS THEN YOU NOT A GOOD HOUSE WIFE, BUT LIFE HAD TAUGHT ME THATS NOT TRUE.....AND MORE AND MORE I might not give you the typical answer most women will. they might tell you its all love and blah blah or that she's plain stupid. either way, its the wrong answer….that relationship is purely codependent. they both have issues that the other person's personality feeds into.its like a drug, thats why most men/women stay, their emotional state of mind is in an unhealthy place it's like u said love is very powerful & makes a women blind..& it's not easy telling ur heart no that person is no good so get him or her out..da heart is sometimes more powerful than da mind..it sucks but that's life love is a powerful thing and when a woman is in love she becomes very powerful herself being able to indure almost anything...It would take only for her to be fed up with the bull to be able to leave! Like R Kelly said: "When a woman's fed up, there aint nothing you can do about it!" Well, I think that when woman become physically or verbally abused they become very vulnerable causing them to get weaker and weaker.... which makes them stay w/ the person who is treating them poorly. I see it happen all the time.. woman start to lose love for themselves.. and the only way to get it back is to move on - which is the hardest thing to do.... I used to have BAD AZZ arguments with my ex to the point where it would get physical unfortunatly. that destroyed our relationship.....he would never hit me back but he would bite me not cool but honestliy speaking right now………... and real love sufferz, forgivez and gives in which is why Rianna took him back...sad but true......in order for her to get over him ...time has to pass...it took me a year !!! to get over my 4 1/2 year relation ship its weird and you know what i ask myself that question everyday. I guess sometimes as women we mistake that abuse whether physical or verbal, to be asign of love.....affection or attention. We are beautiful but we dont see it. it sucks. Well sometimes in not that is powerfull and i know it looks easy from the outer view. Women who r abused both physically and emotianaly sometimes fall in depression or is a control they cant come out off. Some may think is stupid but they need help…..Why do women stay in Battering relationships.. 1..Economic Dependence… 2.Parenting…. 3.Security= Fear of being alone and that she can not cope with her self….. 4.Loyalty…. 5.Pitty….. 6.DENIAL… 7.GUILT…. 8.SHAME, EMBARRASSMENT, HUMILIATION…. 9.OPTIMISM= THINGS WILL GET BETTER!..!......... IS A CYCLE AND is hard some need to find the support and just get help…………… I'm a counselor for drug and alchol and I also deal with battered woman and is not as easy as it looks…….WHEN A PERSON LIVES IN UNENDING TERROR/STRESS, THEIR ABILITY TO RESIST GETS WORN AWAy. THEY BECOME CONFUSED, EXHAUSTED AND LACK THE ENERGY NEEDED TO MAKE CHANGES!..!!!!.... Well my thoughts on that matter are these: A woman, you're right, can find a man any where.....however, it isn't the man that she can find where ever that she wants……………. For a reason or another, the heart has gotten stuck on this particular person, good for you or not. The matters of the heart cant really be controlled, so for that matter...it's easy for those looking outside in to pass judgment... for those who are actually in it, well, fighting your heart is a difficult task. It doesn't mean you are "stupid" or "don't know any better" one can be very aware of her situation or mess as I would like to put, but chooses to follow her or his heart "in hopes" that things will get better…………. can they get better yes, will it? who knows? it has to be a group effort.....................emotions are a crazy thing, and we wish it were that easy to turn on and off, only the two involved in that relationship know what really goes on…………. perhaps there is real love there and there was an incident that got very out of control...and she chooses to forgive and he promises the world, and she chooses to believe………….. there is obviously something going on there, besides the incident that has been plastered everywhere.............. its a horrible example to our children and young ladies, men..but, at the end of the day they are people………....When the heart releases, if it is no too late, then that is when you can let go……………. Sometimes, you can overpower your heart and your the great powers held within the mind, but...that has to be an effort put forth……………"A woman can find a man anywhere, but when she finds one she wants its hard to let go." love is an emotion that makes you blind, feel dependent, think things are gonna be ok, it plays trick with your mind. it is an emotion that carries a life in itself..........with that said i believe the only reason they go back is b/c the woman understand how she loves...and she thinks that if he loves her (like she loves b/c she is going by what she knows) then she thinks there is a possibility for change. its also a serious case of denial and embarrassment……..………so i would say the powerful emotion is what makes them go back...jsut b/c a man hits you doesnt mean you are gonna stop loving him...just like everything else, leaving is also a process..........................not everyone is strong enough, but at the end of the day I am a huge believer in choice and i would say that after a while and continued episodes, the woman stays b/c she wants too plain and simple...cuz there is always a choice...the only place and thing that doesnt give you a choice is a cementary...by then what does that choice matter, its already too late...so pple really need to cherish humanity more and maybe then these women's process will be easier............idk just saying... I think it's usually a combination of all or some of these things: low self-esteem, low expectations / standards and the belief that the guy can change and the woman will be able to change him. She believes him when he says he's sorry and won't do it again, because she WANTS to believe it... so she stays and HOPES for the change, which as you know, never comes. She can go through this cycle for years. Why? Because she doesn't have enough strength within her to leave and she doesn't have enough support or knowledge that she SHOULD leave. She truly loves the man and hangs on to the hope that she can have her forever after fairy tale once he changes..... Abusive men are on a different level or wavelength, one she can never comprehend. I just read a book on abusive relationships. The research says the abusive person and the victim are living in two different realities, so until the victim educates themselves and stops living in denial, they will never be able to step into the abuser's reality and recognize them for what they are. Abusers are controlling, manipulative, hostile, competitive, etc. Victims aren't in that mindframe. They're good natured, trusting, they want partnership, etc.. Neither group can understand the other because they're coming from two separate mindframes..... It's extremely difficult for the abuser to recognize their wrongs and change, since they're not functioning in a normal reality to begin with. They don't see a reason to change and given their controlling and competitive nature, they will fight anyone who tells them they need to change. The victim just doesn't get this, because she thinks surely the guy must understand where she's coming from. Again, two separate realities that don't, and can't, intersect. They both need serious therapy. That's why it's often the smartest idea for the woman to leave, as abusers are severly damaged people who have a long road ahead of them.

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My new life in LA

I wrote this blog in late 2009 when I first moved out to hollywood>>>>>



True happiness is when you cant sleep bc your reality is better then your dreams.

I'm constantly always writing but I only blog once in awhile on few things I feel I want to share with you guys and the rest of the *world*. I know not EVERYONE is gonna see things how I see em' but I can still try right?.

I'm always pressed for time and dont get much downtime to sit and write things out but for some reason everytime im back in NY something comes over me and relaxes me to get on here and blog..anyways this will be a short and simple one not like my previous blogs..hey, sometimes or most of the time I have alot to say!! Ps..thats why im working on a book that will be out hmm prob a few years.. i dont quite have my ending yet ;)

I spent the day with my family and my close friends.. I got home not to long ago.. I was pretty tired but figured I'd continue with my research and stuff that needs to be taken care of before I get any sleep. Yes im a work-o-holic and yes I always like to have 100 projects going on at once to keep my mind going.. I dont think I will EVER meet anyone in my life who will relate to me on my level..like the WAY my mind thinks.. sometimes I think im weird, sometimes I think im different haha. No one can keep up with me.. not even my managers.. bc no one will understand me more then ME so how can someone manage me better? LOL for example how can someone tell me im this ..or im that? IM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE *ME* out!! im still growing as a person.. when I think or do something..IM THE 1st person to find out..i'll let YOU know.. haha HELLO im my own person. So before anyone else knows..I WILL.. note to self, NOONE WILL EVER MANAGE ME BETTER THEN MYSELF. I PROMISE YOU. I VALUE OTHER OPINIONS BUT I WILL HAVE FINAL CUT..ALWAYS.


I finished up last minute touches on some projects im working on, but im not happy with them..so I replan. Sometimes I wonder why I put trust in other people to try and get things done when I know I could just take more time and do it myself..in the end it will pay off to my behalf. I get frustrated bc I feel like I dont have a large enough team of people behind me helping me in this or supporting me. I literally scream. I want to pull my hair out but if I cry..then what? I dont have anyone to wipe my tears, wave a magic wand and make it okay. Im a big girl, everything in my life i've earned I havn't been handed a thing. Not like today's the end its far from it, but in the end im a stronger and more independent person bc of it. At this point of my life things could only get better, im proud of myself.. I think of one year ago from today and I was plotting my way to LA and had no way of getting there and NOT ONE PERSON who supported me. EVERYONE told me it was going to be the biggest mistake of my life. I did what I wanted and what I felt bc thats how I live my life. How can you go through life without taking chances??  im not the crazy one..YOU WHO THINK THAT WAY ARE!!!.. what if I never moved bc I was afraid to fail. How dumb.

Its only been about 6months and I couldnt be more happier with my life and all the opputunities Ive been blessed with. Im somewhat of a perfectionistand a over achiever. I want to learn everything! I want to do everything..at least one. Im so excited to continue living the life I always wanted to. I have big hopes and expectations. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with the present and everything I have going on that I literally need to take a deep breath andSTOP. Like just tonight, I mentally slowed my mind down and relaxxxx..and realize.. actually how far ive come and give myself someeee credit. ..when im in LA its constant WORK WORK WORK its never enough and never good enough.. running here and there. DEADLINES ETC. PRESSURE PRESSURE.. And thats all coming from myself. I dont have to do any of it if I dont want to but I have plans and a deadline so its gotta happen.. and It will one way or another. I mean if you try hard enough eventually..anyone will get it done but not everyone will get it done RIGHT. you feel me?

 Im  hard on myself. Im my biggest critic, no one can tell me something about ME I dont already know. I actually am one of those people who love critism bc I am constantly looking to improve myself for the better and learn from others who know more or know other WayZ.
 Maybe its my fault for being selfish but I think I desserve it. I desserve every penny I make and Every bit of happiness I feel . I admit I dont know what it feels like to be in love. Ive simply forgotten. One day im sure that person will come and swipe me off my feet and i'll find more out of life I dont even know im missing right now.. but Life right now is all about  and my goals.  Im dedicated to what I know and devoted to what I believe in... its a sickness im  proud of..its called hardworker =) and no ones gunna stand in my way believe that.

There I did it again I drifted far more then what I originally planned on writing! HEHE.
When all I really wanted to say was I was sitting in this chair earlier doing research as always and I said to myself I should get some sleep!! BUTTT I was so anxious thinking about upcoming projects and things I want to do short term and long.. and just excited about life in general. Is this what being HIGH OFF LIFE means?? ABout waking up tomorrrow and seeing people I havnt seen, about going shopping or just walking around outside on a nice day.. about events coming up..im just soo ahhhhhhhh ashodiahudshodha ANXIOUS!!! you have no idea what this feeling is like..its hard to explain, its like im in love with this lifestyle and like i finally found my match..IM LIKE GOD DAMNNN I think im in love. I cant sleep, I cant eat I just want to screammmm and share it with the world i feel like Tom Cruise on Opera! HAHA i just want to tell someone IM HAPPY! what a achievement..i finally made myself happy.. all by myself haha now if only I can do that 100000000 more times id be great-er.

NOW I REALLY GET IT..I REALLY GET IT..
TRUE HAPPINESS IS WHEN YOU CANT SLEEP BC YOUR REALITY IS BETTER THEN YOUR DREAMS!!!!