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Thursday, March 24, 2011

The most TWISTED TRUTH I have EVER wrote!


POSTED DEC14 2009>>>>>


This is NOT a general statement.

Your dedicated hate and ambition to tear apart my happiness makes me fight even harder. 

Forcefull hands placed on me did hurt but NOTHING hurts more then hurtful words. I can resite them over and over. The human memory can hold so much but we can still forget what people say to us.. though we can never forget how those people made us feel. Embed those scenes in the back of my head and I can play it out again and again.

 Over time, Bruises fade but scars last forever. Your sick, sad pitiful eyes look into mine and straight into my soul. Like acid to my flesh, eating away at myself. Thats fear turned into anger. Thats me, being awake. Raging resentment is a edited way of wording it. I am disgusted at the things I've read, heard, and seen. 

You are that flame within me that burns inside of me forever and keeps me going harder and fighting every day that im alive. I take whatever is thrown to me and recycle it for my own strength, energy, dedication, and ambition. I am not enlightened by apologies, by any means. I take the blame, I am so much better of a person..my morals speak for themself and my love have no pride, as it shouldn't.
It was all my fault for ever putting myself in a hopeless sitituation. I could have sold my soul to the devil and given my innocence away on a street corner and felt more proud then I can ever feel looking back at "that". I've tried not to use words like disspointed, embarrased or so "un-proud" but how could I not? 


Continue to inspire me on what NOT to grow up to be like.. i've learned so  much in such a short time and yet it feels like it has taken me forever to realize this gift that god has blessed me with right in front of my eyes. Only god can judge me. Who is anyone else to try and control me?? that should be a sin. Someones soul is crumbled up in my clenched fist and it's not mine.. When you feel that somethings missing..it's not me..it is so not me. How does it feel to have your life in someone else hands?  Strength never comes from powering over weaker people..thats just weakness. Learn from me. Learn from my mistakes. If I could make 1 person out of 1million understand not just this but everything I try to "preach"  id be a happier person. Im so open with my feelings bc I know theres more people out there who can relate! So lets make a difference!   Without our past we cant be who we are today so THANK YOU for making me stronger.




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