Thursday, March 24, 2011
You are the only person I have known that has stood by my side w/out leaving me. No questions asked, if I ever needed you…you were there . Whatever the problem was, you had to ask,
you just came right to me.
Whatever I said I said..what I did I did. You never 2nd guessed me.
Your patience is ridiculous. My life is ridiculous..
people wouldn't even believe the half. You KNOW the full.
You put up with my pathetic bullshit like it was nothing.
If I couldn't sleep, you're the only person that would stay on the phone with me till I could. Like always, you never let me down. you are the only person that has stayed true for as long as Ive known you.
They think they know...YOU know. You're the only one who knows what goes on inside my head. That ismind boggling to me. I don't get you..why do u care?
mess up as much as you can before you regret it. I mess up everyday. ..were running out of time. You cant live till you really understand--Perfection is not really happiness.. its trying to hard!
I treat people how they treat me. speak the truth . I expect that in return. You spoil me. I didn't take you for granted. I am alone, you are with me always. ..you are alone im with you always ! , I don't just leave ppl they leave me. I
Clearly, I have worked with Mac for some years and so I am most familar with there products so the majority of my kit consists of all MAC makeup. Ido have a few favs by smashbox,urban decay and Def..makeup forever.
I do all and ANY type of makeup you can think of. Beauty, High Fashion, Bridal ( which makes up a big part of my business), Film/Tv, Theatrical, Special effects, body paint, Scar/ tattoo coverage, & photoshoots.. which is my all time favorite!! did i leave anything out? Airbrush I have done in the past but I dont do it often..if anything maybe I will start abusing the airbrush gun for bodies in photoshoots. Im not a big fan of airbrush gun on face and def not eyes. Though I have not tried MAC regular liquid found. in a gun before. If anyone has, let me know! MAC pro also carries a airbrush formula you can dilute your fluids with. Thats in my kit, taking up space.
Makeup on film is totally different from a regular beauty app. Not only by placement but bc of the different textures, ingredients that make -up the product etc. How it looks in front of you will read totally different in pictures. Thats why you need to be familar with whats in your kit. I dont know whats in your kit, but I can tell you whats in MINE.
With makeup the most important thing to remember is honestly there are NO rules. Its whatever your comfortable with. Everything I have learned was not from any class or book! It was from my eye, whatever looked good. When you step back and look at the whole picture and something looks off..its kinda like where did I EFF up and how can I fix it. Then you know for next time. It's trial and error..and time. AND of course from all my co-workers I have worked with. Just from being around other artists you pick up there tricks and develop your own techniques.
My kit is a small luggage, I condense as best I can. But im always still paranoid I will forget something though ive been doing this for years. Everything is labeled and in smaller plastic squeeze tubes/ bottles..zipblock bags, containers in its on section. Whatever fits, Whatever works, Whatever is easy to find and fast to get to! I get pill cases from cvs or wherever and press my lipsticks into them. Now I have a lipstick pallete. Duh. A bigger version of that can be used for foundation. I never carry every shade, thats a waste of time and money. A few dark, a few light, a few warm, a few cool. True artists can make any color as long as they have esstentials to build and work with. I have something for full coverage and then tinted moisturizers, A have a very dewy one and matte. Diff textures and coverages, But again you can turn a full coverage into a sheer coverage..just dilute it with moisturizer or whatever. = Mac Full coverage, Mineralize liquid, select cover up as a foundation!, moisture cover as a foundation or under eyes, Hyper real,Studio mist, Studio Fluid , Face and body, Makeup forever photofinish. ,- If you do not prime and moist your skin 1st it will look like shit and not last!!!! eww. , Smashbox face primer, Urbandecay special effects eye primer,Strobe creme is a must! even on the body. Strobe liquid to, even to mix with found. Mac paint pot. Mac just came out with Pore refined zone which i just started testing out. The wrinlkle filler is amazing!! Mac lash primer! Matte creme. Blot sheets are good to have to. P- Mac mineralized loose, Mineralized press is to sheer for me..I just love it as a finishing powder and a bronzer. They photograph amazing. Mineralize shimmer to highlight areas, amazing. Blunt blush I use as a contour. My fav thing to do is SKIN, glowyy skin with contour sitting just right. I do like Mac loose powders to and the New translucent powder. Even mixed together. To set makup. Blot pressed is good to, I keep that on set and in my bag for Oil touch ups. Studio fix I love but I would never use for photoshoots. It reflects to much light youll look like a ghost. I'll use anything that looks good. I own every lipstick and lipgloss that make has to offer..limited or not. Dazzle glass is AMAZING! orgasim in a tube.- Have a selection. I have ALOT of MAC 15 Pro Pallettes and I just buy the inserts to pop the shadows in. CONDENSE. I have a smokey palette with all greys, blacks, bronze, browns, nudes. Then I have all brights. Neutrels, Just organized and labeled. Pigments all colors
Mascaras, I use plush alot and always the MAC primer. I jump around alot with mascaras. Christian dior show, Lancome hypnotise. Once you use lashes you never go back!! I havnt really found a mascara I loveee.
Lashes- us mac girls are known to OD on false lashes, 2,3 some girls where 4? LOL theres so many different types. My Favs are from MAC #'s... 2,3,4,7,34, 36, and 20's. My fav combinations are.. doubled 7's. 7's and 20's. I would never use any other glue then duo. Ive heard horror stories.
Eyebrows frame a face, so important. Depending on if they have enough hair or not but I like to use pencials by mac to outline and then mac eyeshadow to shade in. Mac browsets to finish off.
Eyeliner= Again I havnt really used anything but mac, one of these days I will explore sephora more. Im big on mac power points , fluidline, liquid last..that shit lasts!! Kohl pencial smolder is realllll dark but it runs. Carbon, Sketch, FIG 1 or anything dark to smudge out eyeliner.
Blush, I have a assortment of colors and I have them in Palettes as well. Pinks, pink browns, browns, reds, deep red, bronze, peach, etccccc
The following is what I personally use and could not live with out. I do all my makeup for my own photoshoots and this is what MY FACE consist of
To be continued..
This was Written By Concrete Poet. I got it from him when he asked me the same question as to why women stay with men who they know are not good for them. Mentally or Physically. I am reposting this bc I think it should be read.. Sometimes the little things make a difference.Tell me what you think.Here is some feed back from other people who have read my previous blog in 2008/2009! THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I WROTE BUT REACTIONS FROM A DISCUSSION ABOUT ABUSIVE REALTIONSHIP! Ive been there before and now Im not afraid to speak about it, if it will make a difference in someone elses life.
I wrote this blog in late 2009 when I first moved out to hollywood>>>>>
True happiness is when you cant sleep bc your reality is better then your dreams.
I'm constantly always writing but I only blog once in awhile on few things I feel I want to share with you guys and the rest of the *world*. I know not EVERYONE is gonna see things how I see em' but I can still try right?.
I'm always pressed for time and dont get much downtime to sit and write things out but for some reason everytime im back in NY something comes over me and relaxes me to get on here and blog..anyways this will be a short and simple one not like my previous blogs..hey, sometimes or most of the time I have alot to say!! Ps..thats why im working on a book that will be out hmm prob a few years.. i dont quite have my ending yet
I spent the day with my family and my close friends.. I got home not to long ago.. I was pretty tired but figured I'd continue with my research and stuff that needs to be taken care of before I get any sleep. Yes im a work-o-holic and yes I always like to have 100 projects going on at once to keep my mind going.. I dont think I will EVER meet anyone in my life who will relate to me on my level..like the WAY my mind thinks.. sometimes I think im weird, sometimes I think im different haha. No one can keep up with me.. not even my managers.. bc no one will understand me more then ME so how can someone manage me better? LOL for example how can someone tell me im this ..or im that? IM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE *ME* out!! im still growing as a person.. when I think or do something..IM THE 1st person to find out..i'll let YOU know.. haha HELLO im my own person. So before anyone else knows..I WILL.. note to self, NOONE WILL EVER MANAGE ME BETTER THEN MYSELF. I PROMISE YOU. I VALUE OTHER OPINIONS BUT I WILL HAVE FINAL CUT..ALWAYS.
I finished up last minute touches on some projects im working on, but im not happy with them..so I replan. Sometimes I wonder why I put trust in other people to try and get things done when I know I could just take more time and do it myself.. . I get frustrated bc I feel like I dont have a large enough team of people behind me helping me in this or supporting me. I literally scream. I want to pull my hair out but if I cry..then what? I dont have anyone to wipe my tears, wave a magic wand and make it okay. Im a big girl, I havn't been handed a thing. Not like today's the end its far from it, but in the end im a stronger and more independent person bc of it. At this point of my life things could only get better, im proud of myself.. I think of one year ago from today and I was plotting my way to LA and had way of getting there and . How can you go through life without taking chances?? .YOU WHO THINK THAT WAY ARE!!!.. what if I never moved bc I was afraid to fail. How dumb.
Its only been about 6months and with my life and all the opputunities Ive been blessed with. Im somewhat of a perfectionistand a over achiever. I want to learn everything! I want to do ..at least one. Im so excited to continue living the life I always wanted to. I have big hopes and expectations. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with the present and everything I have going on that I literally need to take a deep breath and . Like just tonight, I mentally slowed my mind down and relaxxxx..and realize.. actually how far ive come and give myself someeee credit. ..when im in LA its constant WORK WORK WORK its never enough and never good enough.. running here and there. DEADLINES ETC. PRESSURE PRESSURE.. And thats all coming from I dont have to do any of it if I dont want to but I have plans and a deadline so its gotta happen.. and It will one way or another. I mean if you try hard enough eventually..anyone will get it done but not everyone will get it done RIGHT. you feel me?
Im hard on myself. Im my biggest critic, no one can tell me something about ME I dont already know. I actually am one of those people who love critism bc I am constantly looking to improve myself for the better and learn from others who know more or know other
Maybe its my fault for being selfish but I think I desserve it. I desserve every penny I make and Every bit of happiness I feel . I admit I dont know what it feels like to be in love. One day im sure that person will come and swipe me off my feet and i'll find more out of life I dont even know im missing right now.. but Life right now is all about and my goals. . its a sickness im proud of..its called hardworker =) and no ones gunna stand in my way believe that.
There I did it again I drifted far more then what I originally planned on writing! HEHE.
When all I really wanted to say was I was sitting in this chair earlier doing research as always and I said to myself I should get some sleep!! BUTTT I was so anxious thinking about upcoming projects and things I want to do short term and long.. and just excited about life in general. Is this what being HIGH OFF LIFE means?? ABout waking up tomorrrow and seeing people I havnt seen, about going shopping or just walking around outside on a nice day.. about events coming up..im just soo ahhhhhhhh ashodiahudshodha ANXIOUS!!! you have no idea what this feeling is like..its hard to explain, its like im in love with this lifestyle and like i finally found my match..IM LIKE GOD DAMNNN I think im in love. I cant sleep, I cant eat I just want to screammmm and share it with the world i feel like Tom Cruise on Opera! HAHA i just want to tell someone IM HAPPY! what a achievement..i finally made myself happy.. all by myself haha now if only I can do that 100000000 more times id be great-er.
NOW I REALLY GET IT..I REALLY GET IT..
TRUE HAPPINESS IS WHEN YOU CANT SLEEP BC YOUR REALITY IS BETTER THEN YOUR DREAMS!!!!
POSTED DEC14 2009>>>>>
This is NOT a general statement.
Your dedicated hate and ambition to tear apart my happiness makes me fight even harder.
Forcefull hands placed on me did hurt but NOTHING hurts more then hurtful words. I can resite them over and over. The human memory can hold so much but we can still forget what people say to us.. though we can never forget how those people made us feel. Embed those scenes in the back of my head and I can play it out again and again.
Over time, Bruises fade but scars last forever. Your sick, sad pitiful eyes look into mine and straight into my soul. Like acid to my flesh, eating away at myself. Thats fear turned into anger. Thats me, being awake. Raging resentment is a edited way of wording it. I am disgusted at the things I've read, heard, and seen.
You are that flame within me that burns inside of me forever and keeps me going harder and fighting every day that im alive. I take whatever is thrown to me and recycle it for my own strength, energy, dedication, and ambition. I am not enlightened by apologies, by any means. I take the blame, I am so much better of a person..my morals speak for themself and my love have no pride, as it shouldn't.
It was all my fault for ever putting myself in a hopeless sitituation. I could have sold my soul to the devil and given my innocence away on a street corner and felt more proud then I can ever feel looking back at "that". I've tried not to use words like disspointed, embarrased or so "un-proud" but how could I not?
Continue to inspire me on what NOT to grow up to be like.. i've learned so much in such a short time and yet it feels like it has taken me forever to realize this gift that god has blessed me with right in front of my eyes. Only god can judge me. Who is anyone else to try and control me?? that should be a sin. Someones soul is crumbled up in my clenched fist and it's not mine.. When you feel that somethings missing..it's not me..it is so not me. How does it feel to have your life in someone else hands? Strength never comes from powering over weaker people..thats just weakness. Learn from me. Learn from my mistakes. If I could make 1 person out of 1million understand not just this but everything I try to "preach" id be a happier person. Im so open with my feelings bc I know theres more people out there who can relate! So lets make a difference! Without our past we cant be who we are today so THANK YOU for making me stronger.
Hey! So I was just on my Twitter talking about what i've been up to and explaining it all but It was alot so to not fill up your time lines I will just post a blog and try to get straight to the point unlike all my other blogs! haha YES I talk alot. Anyway, I get alot of questions to what it is I do.. I like to say im SUPERWOMAN!! Because I DO ALOT. I constantly have my hands filled with different sorts of projects in which I rarely talk about till theyre final. Actions speak louder then words. Anyhow, I have been doing makeup since I was 16 years old- that would be 7years almost 8!